Forum UniDescription Forum

Descriptathon II, Challenge 1: The portrait


Author Post
Tom Conway

FROM REDW:

A historic black and white portrait of 14 year old Thomas Edison. He is centered, his right shoulder is slightly forward and he is facing the camera and visible from the chest up to the top of his dark hat. His hair is short and he’s slightly smiling. He’s wearing a white scarf wrapped around his neck and a dark coat. The portrait is round in shape and slightly faded near the border.

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Tom Conway

In response to Tom Conway (View post):

DEPO: 

An oval shaped black and white historical photograph depicts Thomas Edison at a...

The first description (DEPO) is better than the second, but these are not as good as the first 2 that I received. I don’t feel there was enough detail in these. 

CHOICE: DEPO

This entry contains words offering little value to a blind person, i.e. 'historic' photograph; 'mostly' covered. To be of value, they would have to be expounded upon with comparison words.

I like the first description better. I want to write more, but I've run out of time.

CHOICE: DEPO

Major elements are described- type of image, subject, subject placement, background. Good job! I would like a bit more detail about his clothing and physical description. Try to keep you description brief and use stronger images. Question: is the image circular or oval?

I prefer Description #1- there’s more detail to the clothing description, and it includes the position of the subject relative to the viewer.

CHOICE: DEPO


Posted 1 year ago #485 - View post
Tom Conway

In response to Tom Conway (View post):


JOMU: This is a photographic of Thomas Edison at age 14. It pictures him with high crested ha...

Judge 1: I am not sure if we are judging on spelling, but I feel these were not clear enough, or described enough. I guess if I had to pick one, it would be B.

CHOICE: JOMU

Judge 3:  

JOMU - Wrong form of the word 'photographic'. 'scarg' is not a word.

Judge 4:

JOMU - You’ve got the basic elements. What tells you that this is Edison? His age? Do we see his whole body? Color of scarf? You’re on the right track, but begin to look close at the details.

Judge 6:

JOMU: Several words not correct. Minimal description.




Posted 1 year ago #484 - View post
Tom Conway

In response to Tom Conway (View post):

YOSE: The oval portrait of a young Thomas Edison at age 14 is a black and white photo. He is wea...

Judge 2: These are both extremely brief which is by no means not always a bad thing. Concise AD sometimes is the key. Having read the other descriptions first however, these seem just a bit too conciseI would choose the first of these descriptions.

CHOICE: YOSE

Judge 3:  

YOSE - Very specific and simple description; direct and to the point

Judge 4:

YOSE - This is a good basic description. You’ve covered the main elements, but you might include a few more details. Color of cap? Hair? 

I prefer YOSE- there’s more information given.

CHOICE: YOSE

Judge 5:  

I prefer YOSE.. It conveys physical appearance, but also personality. 

CHOICE: YOSE

Judge 6:

YOSE: Language a little choppy. Descriptive use of clothing terms cravat. Minimal details. First Choice.

CHOICE: YOSE

Posted 1 year ago #483 - View post
Tom Conway

In response to Tom Conway (View post):

FROM REDW:

A historic black and white portrait of 14 year old Thomas Edison. He is centere...

Judge 2:

In the first description, the picture is described as round, but most seem to prefer oval. Also, the first sentence is incomplete and while arguably, sometimes good description won't come in full sentences, this may be something to watch. The shoulder being slightly forward is nice and a good catch by the author.

Judge 3: 

How do we know this is a historic portrait? Is is a photo or a black and white sketch? Like the description of placement, that he faces the camera. The elements of his attire are all there, but you might break the description into shorter phrases/sentences. 

Judge 4: 

This entry contains words offering little value to a blind person, i.e. 'historic' black and white photo; 'slightly' forward; 'slightly' faded. To be of value, they would have to be expounded upon with comparison words.

Judge 5: 

Both of these descriptions are strong, but I like the first one better because I feel that a person rather than an image of a person is being described. I get a sense of character even though the language used is objective. 

CHOICE: REDW

Judge 6: 

Succinct, detail good.

Describes positioning within the photograph.

Good description of attire; names of clothing such as ascot very nice.

Sets a nice picture in the mind.

The concept of the image appearing to be a studio portrait is a nice job of making it clear this is your interpretation of the image.

CHOICE: REDW



Posted 1 year ago #482 - View post
Tom Conway

In response to Tom Conway (View post):

FROM PORE:

This black and white, oval, portrait photograph is of a young Thomas Edison at a...

Judge 1: In description 1, it was clear, but in description 2, I felt like I could really understand what the portrait appeared to be. It was very well described in #2.

CHOICE: PORE

Judge 2: Ok, kudos to Description 2 because I have a good vocabulary, but I sure don't know what an "ascot" is <smile>. A different word might be better there even if it is less precise.

In the first description, the picture is described as round, but most seem to prefer oval. Also, the first sentence is incomplete and while arguably, sometimes good description won't come in full sentences, this may be something to watch. The shoulder being slightly forward is nice and a good catch by the author.

I'd give the nod here to Description 2, partly because of the part about the hair and overall how it's put together.

CHOICE: PORE

Love the phrase “portrait photograph.” Complete! Good description of subject placement. Evocative clothing description, although the ascot description could be shortened.

Pronounced cheeks- the flesh? Bones? Like the hat/hair description!

I prefer the description from Park #2. Essential elements are there in vivid, concise prose.

CHOICE: PORE

Park Description 2

I could easily visualize the person in the picture.

Winner: Park Description 2 - its content 'catches' you.

CHOICE: PORE


Posted 1 year ago #481 - View post
Tom Conway

In response to Tom Conway (View post):

Descriptathon 3 - September 26, 2017

FROM WHIS

Thomas Edison is pict...

Judge 1 (WHIS):

I feel Whiskeytown was much more detailed, and I felt that I could really see this portrait.

Lassen was not very informative. The description was very dull, and would not make me wish to visit that portrait on a tour.

Judge 3 (WHIS):

Whiskeytown: 

Helpful description: telling us he is looking directly at the camera. Description of his clothes is lovely- soft-billed cap, white scarf contrasting with the dark material of the lapeled jacket. Facial description includes skin color- nice touch. Love the reference to the high cheekbones and finely arched eyebrows. dark hair, neatly cut- great image.

How do we know he is dressed for outdoors? And what tells us this is Thomas Edison? 

Overall, I prefer Whiskeytown’s description. The language is concise, vivid, and direct. 

Judge 7 (WHIS):

Whiskeytown:

Liked use of historic black-and-white photo.

Liked with a confident, amused expression.

Nice description of clothing; large white scarf, sounded almost like it might have been a thick, white scarf.

Detail about background of photo nice.

Dressed for outdoors was a nice touch.

First Choice.



Posted 1 year ago #480 - View post
Tom Conway

LAVO:

An oval portrait of a young boy is backed by a peach-colored square. In the bottom left hand corner of the square is the text, “Thomas Edison, age 14”. Pictured from his shoulders-up in a black jacket and wide folded scarf, the youth grins with rounded cheeks. Topped by a messenger-style cap, his short hair ends at a set of slightly outward pointing ears


Posted 1 year ago #479 - View post
Tom Conway

RORI: 

This circular black & white historic photograph is of a young Thomas Edison, age 14. He is facing the camera, with a slight half-smile, framed in front of a light background. His dark hair is mostly covered by a dark hat. He appears to be wearing a dark coat with a light-colored knit scarf wrapped around his neck, cascading down the front of his chest.

Posted 1 year ago #478 - View post
Tom Conway

DEPO: 

An oval shaped black and white historical photograph depicts Thomas Edison at age 14. The portrait includes Thomas Edison’s upper body, from torso to head. He wears a coat, large scarf, and cap. His mouth and eyes appear void of any particular expression, but they convey a sense of youthful calm. 


Posted 1 year ago #477 - View post
Tom Conway

JOMU: This is a photographic of Thomas Edison at age 14. It pictures him with high crested hat with a brim. He was a grin on his face and chubby checks. There is a scarg around his neck and a black overcoat. 

Posted 1 year ago #476 - View post
Tom Conway

YOSE: The oval portrait of a young Thomas Edison at age 14 is a black and white photo. He is wearing a white scarf wrapped around his neck and tied in a cravat inside of a black blazer. He is wearing a cap and has a short haircut, full cheeks and a slight smile.

Posted 1 year ago #475 - View post